Do you have a teenager or two who find themselves at loose ends without the routine of the school day? Last summer, I found myself in just such a situation. The change in routine is a welcomed one, but for some children, the lack of structure can cause anxiety.
I had two problems as summer break started last year. First, I really wanted to see my kids help more around the house. And secondly (and maybe more importantly), I wanted them to get away from the screens.
But then I had an idea that turned out to be the perfect solution for our family.
I’ve never been good a sustaining the expectation that kids will do chores. They help, but in random and infrequent ways. But early last summer, I hit upon a sustainable and simplified version of a ‘chore chart’ which focused only on dinner. It invited the entire family to take responsibility for getting dinner onto — and off — the table each evening.
This simple chart gave everyone specific responsibilities every day. And a routine for the lazy, unscheduled days of summer.
To create our family “dinner delegation” chart, I began by making a list of the four main elements of dinner prep and cleanup. I intentionally selected just four jobs since there are five of us in our household. This let me rotate everyone through the tasks every week and also gave one person ‘the night off’ each day.
Our four jobs were: Set the Table, Cook Dinner, Clear the Table, and Do the Dishes. The number of jobs can be expanded or contracted to fit the number of people in the family. For example, “Put Away Leftovers” could be added after “Clear the Table” if an additional job is needed. For us, one person did all the dishes, but “Load the Dishwasher” could be separate from the hand washed dishes in “Do the Dishes.” And there’s nothing saying people can’t be assigned more than one job each day. The chart can easily be modified to fit your particular family configuration. With our family of five, these four worked for us.
On our chart, the first column contains the jobs that need to be done. Then come the days of the week. I listed just Monday through Saturday, giving everyone Sunday ‘off’. Some Sundays we ate out, on others dinner was ‘Do it Yourself’, but mostly I just did it all on Sunday, with help from whomever was inclined to assist.
After rows and columns were done, I added names, starting with job one on Monday and ending with job four on Saturday. The resulting assignments looked something like this:
I posted this chart on a kitchen cabinet, where everyone could see what their assignment was each day. Assigned responsibility was a radical departure from the way we’ve always done it at our house – where I cooked dinner and hollered for someone to set the table when it was time to eat. The change was awesome.
Because it was written down and posted, everyone knew what to expect. So there was no grumbling about doing the assigned job. The kids thoroughly enjoyed choosing the meal they would prepare and then fixing it for the family. (Full transparency: I helped with the cooking most nights at the beginning, as this was our youngest’s first real experience with using an oven and stove.)
One of my children is an overachiever. When it was her turn to set the table, it was often done mid-afternoon!
But things didn’t always go smoothly. There were days when someone was not home for dinner. On these days, there would be much negotiating, with deals made to swap jobs or find coverage. This gave the kids an opportunity to practice their negotiation and compromise skills. Another benefit!
Does delagation sound like something that might work at your house? Here are some tips if you decide to embark on this adventure:
- You’ve got to be ok with giving up control of the menu planning. Choosing what to fix gives the kids practice at planning and follow-through, and builds confidence and enthusiasm. Cooking what someone else has chosen does not create the same excitement and is likely to be met with grumbling.
- You know your children best – give them support where they need it, help them learn and gain skills in the kitchen through effort and practice, then back off when they are able to do it independently. Delegating doesn’t completely eliminate the need to be in the kitchen during dinner preparation. I found I was able to work my way out of the kitchen as the summer progress, but at the beginning I needed to be available to support and coach.
- Grocery shopping is another opportunity to engage children in the mechanics of preparing for meals. We would assemble the week’s menus together on Saturday morning, so I could grocery shop for the week. Bringing them to the grocery store to participate in the gathering of ingredients is another job that could be partially delegated.
What do you think? Is there space for such a system in your family’s routine this summer? Last year, our new summer dinner strategy worked so well we are excited to implement it again this summer. In fact, I’m thinking it may become standard operating procedure throughout the year!