The Summer Slowdown: the Benefits of boredom

Are you hearing “I’m bored!” from your kids now that school is out and summer stretches before us? How do you respond?

According to an article in Forbes magazine, Neuroscientist Alicia Walf, a researcher in the Department of Cognitive Science at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, says it’s critical for brain health to let yourself be bored from time to time. 

“Boredom can actually foster creative ideas, refilling your dwindling reservoir, replenishing your work mojo and providing an incubation period for embryonic work ideas to hatch. 

In those moments that might seem boring, empty and needless, strategies and solutions that have been there all along in some embryonic form are given space and come to life. And your brain gets a much needed rest when we’re not working it too hard.”

The Forbes article focuses on the benefits of downtime for adults, but the same is true for children.

We parents are prone to filling up our children’s day with activities and new experiences. We worry that having nothing to do will lead to misbehavior.

Kids who are used to having their days full of outings, camp, and adult-directed activities do need a little time to adjust to “doing nothing”. They may lack experience having periods of time where nothing is planned and their own ingenuity is needed. 

That adjustment period can be tough – on kids and their parents. But given a little bit of time, kids will also discover the gifts of boredom and the creativity that comes from having “nothing” to do.

As parents, we can simultaneously assure their safety by never being far away, while allowing them to develop their creativity by not structuring every minute of the day.  

Well into their elementary years we had what I called ‘rest time’ in the afternoon. Though they no longer napped, they were expected to spend a quiet hour in their rooms. We all recharged during that hour and they spent that time wherever their imaginations took them. 

Psychology Today offers this on the benefits of boredom for children: “The ability to focus and self-regulate is correlated with the ability to handle boredom. Learning to endure boredom at a young age is great preparation for developing self-control skills (regulating one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions).”

In addition to developing self-regulation skills, some other benefits of boredom include:

-Improved mental health

-Increased creativity

-Motivation to seek new ideas

-Motivation to pursue new goals

So next time you hear “I’m bored”, take your time rushing in to fix it – let them experience some of those benefits of a little boredom. Before long their creativity just may kick in.

Helping Kids Through Hard Things

Watching the news from Uvalde, Texas last week was hard. Incomprehensible events can be difficult to process for adults – and talking about them with kids is not easy. Here are a few tips from the experts for helping kids handle difficult news.

Age-appropriate support and responses

0-7 Your kids will look to you to see how you are reacting. Staying calm and rational helps them do the same. Turn off the TV and keep your young children away from the news. This includes avoiding adult conversation about the event while children are in the room.

Even very young children, who appear to be busy doing something else, can often be more aware of what they are hearing in the background than you realize. 

Says one young mother, “He was two and I thought he wasn’t paying attention as I listened to NPR in the room with him. Suddenly he says, “They said puzzle. I have a puzzle.” It was at that moment she realized that even though he was just two, he was hearing and being affected by the news in the background.

Keeping children away from media broadcasts is valuable in two ways. 

It gives parents time to fully understand what has happened, process their own emotions about it, and make decisions about how to answer questions their children will have. 

It also protects them from breaking news, which can contain incomplete or inaccurate information. 

When you have all the facts and have had time to think through your own response, you are better prepared to help their children cope.

Children want to know they are safe and cared for. When talking with them about difficult news stories, encourage them to talk about their fears. Reassure them that you are taking care of them and will keep them safe.

7-12 Older children continue to need reassurance that they are cared for and protected. Consider their maturity level when deciding how to talk about frightening news. Many children of this age can handle hard topics, but if your child is sensitive, consider following the advice for younger children – turn off the news and provide reassurance that they are safe with you.

Common Sense Media offers the following advice for this age group, “Talk about — and filter — news coverage. You might explain that even news programs compete for viewers, which sometimes affects content decisions. If you let your kids use the internet, go online with them. Some of the pictures posted are simply grisly. Monitor where your kids are going, and set your URLs to open to non-news-based portals.”

12 and up Teenagers will likely be exposed to the news in much the same way you hare – through their social networks or news stories that come across the media they are consuming. 

Since they will likely have heard about it independently, check in with them – invite them to express themselves and share their reaction to the news. Listen actively and address their concerns without minimizing or dismissing them. Take the opportunity to provide your take on things.

Teens may be eager to take action. Research ways you can do this together. Write letters to elected officials, attend peaceful rallys or protests, or make donations to support causes you believe in. Taking action can help reduce a child’s anxiety. 

Take care of yourself

As you work through your own emotions about the event, remember to take care of yourself as well. Take regular breaks from your exposure to media coverage to avoid becoming overwhelmed. 

Allow yourself time to do things you enjoy and reduce anxiety by keeping up with your normal routine, which will help you process both the emotional and physical effects of traumatic news events.

Traumatic events, even those far from home, affect us all. Give yourself and your children time and space to process the emotions that come up. A little extra togetherness, doing something you both love, could be just the thing. 

 

10 Fun Fall Activities for Families

10 Fun Fall Activities for Families

 

The temperature is lower, the air is crisper, and the leaves are turning colorful yellows, oranges, and reds. Autumn has arrived in the Willamette Valley. There are so many fun things to do this time of year. Pumpkin patches, apple pressing, playing in piles of leaves. We’ve rounded up a collection of 10 fun fall activities for your family to enjoy in this season of cooler weather.

1. Collect and press colorful leaves

Take the kids on a walk around the neighborhood to collect the prettiest fallen leaves. Help them choose leaves of many different shapes and colors. Back at home, set your iron to its lowest heat setting. Invite the kids to lay their leaves between two sheets of wax paper. Using an old utility towel between the wax paper and the iron, iron the leaves until the wax has melted and fused the two sheets together, encasing the leaves. Let cool, then hang them up or use them for fun placemats at the dinner table.

2. Cook stone soup together

Read the story of caring and sharing together, or watch an animated Stone Soup video. Then gather together in your kitchen to create your own ‘stone soup.’ Let the children choose which vegetables to add from staples already in your kitchen and see what deliciousness results. You can contribute herbs and spices and some soup stock to punch up the flavor.

3. Take a walk in the woods

Enjoy our cool (and wet) fall weather with a walk in the woods. Listen for the sounds of birds, check the creeks to see if they look different now than they did in mid-summer, smell the earthiness of the wet trees and path. Be sure to dress for the weather and have rainboots handy even it it isn’t raining, just in case you find a puddle worth stomping in.

4. Make some easy spooky crafts

Tissue ghosts require only a box of tissues and some string or thread. (Or even an elastic.) Wad a tissue up into a ball. Place it in the middle of a second tissue. Wrap the ball in the outer tissue and tie it together. Glue on some black construction paper eyes and a mouth, then use string to hang your ghosts for a festive decoration

Construction paper cats: Draw the outline of a sitting cat on a large piece of black construction paper. Let the kids cut along the drawn line. Then tape your black cat silhouette to the bottom of a window, Need some inspiration? Check here.

Paper plate Jack-o-lanterns: Using a paper plate and some black construction paper, invite the kids to color or paint the paper plate orange. (Or tear up orange construction paper and let them glue the pieces, mosaic style, to their paper plate to transform the white plate to orange.) Invite them to cut out circles and triangles, and glue them on the plate, jack-o-lantern style.

5. Bob for apples

 Have a family Halloween party. Who says you have to invite people over to have a party? Decorate one room of your house for the party, then enjoy familiar Halloween party games. Get dressed up in your favorite Halloween costumes, bob for apples, pin the hat on the witch, and enjoy cider and donuts. Make some Halloween-themed bingo cards and enjoy a family game of bingo. (Don’t have the bandwidth to make the boards yourself? Print some here.

6. Pop some corn

And watch a “spooky” movie together. For younger kids pick something silly and fun rather than creepy or scary.

7. Paint some pinecones

Gather a few pinecones. Make them colorful with non-toxic paint. Hang them up for a colorful autumn decoration. Or fill a decorative bowl with them for a table centerpiece.

8. Make a hanging bird feeder

Feed the birds with homemade birdseed ornaments to hang in the yard. Or stuff some pinecones with suet or peanut butter and then roll them in birdseed. Hang them in your yard to share with our feathered friends. (Bonus tip: hang them where kids can see them from a window and spend some time watching who comes to visit your new bird feeders.)

9. Make a scarecrow

Get as basic or extravagant as you want. Grab a worn-out pair of pants and a long sleeve shirt. Tie the ends of the pant legs and shirt sleeves closed, then stuff them with leaves. Stuff the shirt tails into the waist of the pants and prop your scarecrow up against a tree, or sit him in a chair. Add a pumpkin head, or prop a cowboy hat over the neck of the shirt so it looks like his head is slumped in sleep. If you want him to stand, run a broomstick from the neck of the shirt down through the bottom of the pant leg. Tape construction paper features on the broom to make a face. 

10. Enjoy “spooky” stories around the firepit

Have a fire pit in your yard? Build a fire, roast some marshmallows, and tell some age-appropriate ‘ghost’ stories while you enjoy sitting around the campfire.

 

Lynne Brown is a freelance writer, former Montessori teacher, and mom to seven amazing kids, some of whom now have kids of their own. She loves writing on parenting and early childhood education. You can learn more about her at www.lynnebrownwriting.com.

Japanese forest bathing

Last week our family hiked at Bald Hill. We had masks at the ready and were careful to socially distance ourselves from other hikers. We did the pasture loop, which is short, with a wide paved path that skirts around most of the hill. Despite forecasts of sunny, warm weather, it started to sprinkle as we left the car. 

The sprinkle turned to rain as we left the pasture for the trees, but after a bit, it stopped. To be honest, the dampness was about the only thing I noticed as we walked.

I’m kicking myself today because we missed a magnificent opportunity to experience what in Japanese is called “shinrin-yoku”, or forest bathing.

Dr. Qing Li , author of Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness, describes it like this, “In Japan, we practice something called forest bathing, or shinrin-yoku. Shinrin in Japanese means “forest,” and yoku means “bath.” So shinrin-yoku means bathing in the forest atmosphere, or taking in the forest through our senses.”

He explains, “This is not exercise, or hiking, or jogging. It is simply being in nature, connecting with it through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Shinrin-yoku is like a bridge. By opening our senses, it bridges the gap between us and the natural world.”

The Japanese aren’t the only ones who have discovered the health benefits of communing with nature. There are many studies that have documented how spending time outdoors lowers stress for everyone and, among other things, improves concentration for children with ADHD. You’ll find details and some great links for more reading here

How to Forest Bathe

So how does one “forest bathe”? First, find a forest with even walking paths. You can go it alone, or join a walk led by a certified forest bathing guide.

Walk slowly and stop often. This is exactly what I neglected to do on our visit to Bald Hill. Take time to relax and to notice the environment. Spend time under the trees, soaking up the smells of the forest. Dr. Li’s research has found that the chemicals released by the hinoki cypress tree boost the immune system.

If there are places to sit quietly under the trees, take advantage of them. Listen to the sounds of the forest, observe the birds overhead, the plants growing on the forest floor, and insects scurrying along fallen branches and leaves.

Take a few slow, deep breaths and notice the smell of the forest. Those smells include the beneficial chemicals released by the trees.

Me, I’m wishing I’d been a bit more conscious of the world around me as I walked between those raindrops, trying to keep up with my energetic teens. 

How about you? Have you had an opportunity to spend more time outdoors this month?

 

Lynne Brown is a freelance writer, former Montessori teacher, and mom to seven amazing kids, some of whom now have kids of their own. She loves writing on parenting and early childhood education. You can learn more about her at  www.lynnebrownwriting.com.

 

6 Ways to lower back-to-school anxiety

Back to school stress can begin even before the school year starts.  What has become our summer routine will quickly be replaced with the demands of a new school year.  This impending change can increase anxiety levels in children and parents alike. 

Here are six quick tips for reducing the tension in your house as everyone gets used to the new ‘normal’ for this school year.

Get into a routine

During big transitions like the first weeks of school in a new class, use predictable routines for the beginning and end of each day to help lower stress.  Routines are reassuring, for children and adults alike. Knowing what needs to be done, and doing that in the same order each day, adds a rhythm to each morning and evening.  We can do it without investing anxious thought and worry in the routine tasks of each day. Very young children gain confidence in themselves when they know they can predict what comes next.

Make time for downtime

Especially during the first two weeks of school, give everyone time to just do nothing.  Consider saving the ‘back to school celebration dinner out’ for later in the month and let your overwhelmed students just veg out at home during these first few weeks of adjustment.

Stick to the Sleep schedule

Help children get enough sleep by setting appropriate bedtimes.  Begin the bedtime routine early enough that getting to bed isn’t rushed.  Children who are well-rested will have an easier time coping with the stressors of their day.

Limit screen time and encourage physical exercise  

Exercise helps prepare the body for better sleep.  Instead of starting a video, take a walk together as a family after dinner. Set a digital curfew each evening to help everyone move into a more restful and sleep-receptive state.  The earlier the better, but experts recommend we step away from our devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime.  A great alternative to winding down in front of a screen is a good old-fashioned printed book, read by the light of a table lamp.

Lower your expectations

We all want to have everything ready for the big change of a new school year.  But consider putting off some of the preparation. Yes, you will need a new supply of long pants and long sleeve shirts, but can it wait until early October?  You want everyone to skip off to school gleefully each day, but some days they are more likely to shuffle – or stomp – out the door. Let it go. Give them a hug and a smile anyway, and maybe a little encouragement to go forth and make it a great day.

Put a positive spin on it 

Help anxious children see the upside when they express their fear with comments like, “I don’t want to go back to school.”  Remind them that they will see friends they haven’t seen all summer. Ask them what they are looking forward to the most. Help them see that starting something new can also be exciting.  Just smiling – even if you don’t feel happy – releases endorphins that will make you feel better.  

This time of year often means heightened anxiety at home.  Look for ways to lower the stress of back-to-school at home, so your kids can take their best selves into their new classrooms.  Less anxiety means they will be more open and receptive to the learning their teacher has planned for them.  

Take a deep breath. In a few short weeks, we can look back and congratulate ourselves on settling into our new school year routine. 

 

Lynne Brown is a freelance writer, former Montessori toddler teacher, and mom to seven amazing kids, some of whom now have kids of their own.  You can learn more about her at www.lynnebrownwriting.com.

Helping Kids Cope

Disappointments and difficulties are a part of life. Economic circumstances, political upheaval, and family dynamics can create hardship and adverse life circumstances for children and their families. Sometimes children and families also experience truly traumatic events.

How do we – and our children – cope with both everyday difficulties and larger life trauma?  How can we help our children learn coping skills? Research examines resilience – the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties – in an effort to answer those questions.  

Over the last two decades, numerous research studies have examined psychological resilience in children, looking to identify the special traits or skills that help children navigate difficult circumstances and overcome adversity.  Surprisingly, what they found is that it is not special traits or skills that help people who cope well with adversity. Instead, people who develop resilience call on the normal coping mechanisms available to us all.

What studies have found is that the key to helping kids learn how to cope turns out to be many of the same things that help kids grow up well: effective parenting, connections with competent and caring adults, self-regulation skills, a positive view of themselves, and the motivation to succeed.

Thus, everyone has the capacity for resilience.  Parents help support their children’s development – including developing their ability to cope – right from the beginning. Young children begin developing resilience as they learn from the responses of their caregivers.

Parents, with the support of other caring family members and community members, can help their children become more resilient through everyday interaction and role modeling. Parents who model resilience – demonstrating self-regulation in the face of disappointment or talking about how they “bounced back” from a setback – help children learn how to cope with disappointments in their own lives.  

Lizzy Francis offers a number of parenting strategies that support the development of resilience with these tips from Amy Morin, author of the book 10 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do:

“Supporting struggling children is important, but the best way parents can teach resilience is by modeling it. Acting cool-headed in the face of stress and acknowledging mistakes provides children with a rubric for failure. Failing, they learn, is not the end of the world. It’s just part of being alive.

Here are the specific suggestions that Morin gives parents looking to teach by doing….

  • Don’t Intervene All The Time
    “When your child is struggling — if, say, his blocks keep tipping over and he’s getting angry, don’t swoop in and do it for them,” says Morin. In other words, practice restraint. It’s easy to step in and help soothe your kid. But letting them struggle helps them learn that they can solve their own problems.
  • Own Up To Your Mistakes
    Parents, per Morin, should actively apologize to their children when they make mistakes, like if they snap at them, or are late to pick them up. “Pointing out what you did wrong — if you didn’t handle your anger very well, or said something that wasn’t very nice — explain what happened, without making an excuse. And then you explain how you will learn from the problem and fix it,” suggests Morin. This, she says, teaches kids that making a mistake is fine, as long as you apologize and learn from them.
  • Examine Their Feelings
    You want to acknowledge a child’s feelings and tell them that their feelings matter,” says Morin. “That makes a big difference in whether they perceive if their feelings are okay, that it’s okay to be scared and still do something anyway.” Letting your kid know that their feelings are legitimate — but that they don’t have to inform their behavior at all times, like, say, when a playground scuffle breaks out — is essential.
  • Audit Your Behavior
    Kids are always watching. Per Morin, it’s essential for parents to think about how they act in moments of daily stress and try to do better. “When you’re dealing with an annoying situation, like the long line at the grocery store, and you’re tired, and you’re hungry, how do you handle it? Are you complaining? Are you staring at your phone? Your kids are watching how you cope with your emotions,” says Morin.

In other words: by being a resilient adult, you teach your kids how to react to moments of stress.”

Parents can also help build resilience by taking care of themselves.  Self-care makes you better equipped to parent and better able to meet everyday challenges.

And good parenting has protective power for children in difficult circumstances.  As does strong, supportive connections with other adults – teachers, mentors, neighbors, and family friends.  For children and teens, relationships with other adults help foster a positive view of themselves and encourages motivation to succeed.

A resilient child has:

  • The capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out.
  • A positive view of themself and confidence in their strengths and abilities.
  • Skills in communication and problem-solving.
  • The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses.

(https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience)

Luckily these are all skills that can be developed at any stage of life.  As parents, we can help our children learn these skills and behaviors. As community members, neighbors, scout leaders, and sports coaches, we can mentor and support the children in our community as they develop their own resilience.

 

Summer Free Lunch

This week I want to tell you about something that I love.

It is Oregon’s Summer Meals program, and in this time of uncertainty and crisis, I believe it’s one of the few things around that’s just purely good.

It might seem like I’m hyperbolizing (or, more likely, just inventing an excuse to use that word in a sentence), but I tell you it’s true. Why, take a gander if you will at the organization’s handsome and generous website, which provides an overview of the service and a tidy history as well as a sweet site locator to find meals around the state.

What do they do? Well, since it was created thanks to an act of Congress (remember those?) exactly 50 years ago, the USDA-funded program simply gives out free meals to children aged 1-18. Some sites also sell meals to adults, and some offer activities and educational opportunities before or after. That’s it.

Why is that magic? The awesomeness is in the details: how many public programs can you think of that don’t ask you to register your kids, meet eligibility requirements, sign up for further something-or-other, or commit to anything? Really! You just show up and they feed your kids. The end. No follow-up, no stigma around needing the assistance. I think that’s mighty special.

My kids, who eat a lot and are sometimes in need of assistance, have enjoyed free meals in parks and libraries around Linn and Benton Counties. They’re not picky or anything, but they have pronounced the offerings both varied and pleasing. I believe them.

If you have kids, a finite amount of financial resources, and/or it’s just too cockadoodle hot to make lunch, I suggest you check out the Summer Meals sitch.

So, what are you waiting for?

Except for maybe morning?

 

Disparate Youth

An interesting issue came up in our Nurturing Fathers class recently: is there a right time to introduce a concept to your child when they might not otherwise know about it? Some examples: terrorism, drugs, political protest, gender ambiguity, racism.

Granted, this is a disparate list of topics, and the answer is going to be different for each situation (and for each family). But in each case, the parent did not know what, or how much, the child knew or from whom they might have learned it.

I described the scenario a few weeks ago in which I took my daughter, 12, to the doctor and she got tangled up in a list of questions about substance use. She didn’t know what they were about but knew enough about how drugs could be harmful that she was upset by the questions. I felt like I should have prepared the ground for her, given her more of a context for what she was being asked to think about (she doesn’t go to public school, by the by). But what should I have told her? And how much? And when?

So many questions! What’s the best way to approach a difficult topic with your kids?

The first step, because it can determine what course to follow, is to turn it around:

Ask your kids what they know about it. What do they think? How does it make them feel? What’s important here is not to identify the source or cast blame, but to find out what your child has to work with. Listen non-judgmentally, for content and for emotion. You might be surprised at what you learn!

Now, remember not to render value judgments on what they have told you, even if it is inaccurate or offensive. You don’t what them to shut down and quit sharing. Instead, offer to help them to find out the truth behind the subject: look it up together on the internet or at the library. While you do this you can teach them how to discern good sources of information from bad (we know how to do that, right?).

What if your conversation is not pure research, but touches you or your family directly? How do you give difficult information? I came across a helpful post on this very thing.

By approaching the problem in this way, you get to teach your child that it’s possible to learn and process challenging or even scary topics. And you get to spend some time together, to boot.

Thanks to Santigold for the title of this post.

Try This One Weird Trick When You Parent!

I have always been amused by those cheap and vaguely disreputable-looking ads that appear at the bottom of the screen on websites. You know, the ones that exhort you to try this “one weird trick” to solve various problems. I’m not sure how effective those ads are, but one can assume that if they didn’t work (for the marketers, that is, if not for the curious clicker) they wouldn’t be there. I have never been intrigued enough to actually click on them (have you?), but fortunately, at least one journalist was paid to do so.

Parenting, as you know, rarely lends itself to easy or singular answers (in other words, to “one weird trick”). But sometimes there is a simple solution. I’m going to present not one, fellow parent, not two, but three weird tricks that will actually get results with your kids.

Try this one weird trick to make your kids smarter!

Here it is, without even a dodgy video you can’t skip or pause: get some books. That’s right, according to science, there is a strong correlation between having books in the home and kids’ future academic achievement. That’s it! Of course, the assumption is that these books get read at some point. But most important is simply to own them and make them available. Kids who grow up in a home with books will learn to value them and the skills needed to unlock them.

Want to know what your kids are thinking? Try this one weird trick!

This one I got from a parent I worked with a few years ago, who told me her amazing secret: she makes sure that when her daughter and friends are going somewhere, she is the driver. Evidently the act of driving clouds awareness, in the tween/teen brain, of the presence of the parent. Give it 8 or 10 blocks, and those kids will start talking as if there are no adults present. You will learn everything, and they won’t know that you know it! This may actually be true. I don’t know; I’m not science. But research does support the practice of talking to your kids in the car. The casual, pressure-free environment eliminates the need for eye contact and facilitates communication.

This one weird trick will keep your kids from doing drugs!

Eat dinner together! Several studies over the last 10-15 years have demonstrated that kids who eat meals with their family are significantly less likely to engage in drug use or other risky behaviors. As I looked into this weird trick, I found that its veracity has been challenged by recent research. It just goes to show that magic is always more complicated than we think (see Harry Potter). But even if you can’t sit together for meals, you can find some other opportunity to connect regularly with your kids and nurture trust and communication.

There, now you’ve got it all figured out. Parents, send no money!

Growth Mind-what?

All this research going on in neuroscience is pretty, ahem, mind-blowing.

Some of the latest studies on student achievement are focused on what is called a child’s “mindset:” their beliefs around how their mind works and whether it can grow and change. According to research by Dr. Carol Dweck, a person can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. And the mindset we have depends largely on what we were raised to believe about ourselves and our abilities.

Writer Sarah McKay explains, “Kids with a fixed mindset believe they’re ‘smart’ or ‘dumb’, talented at something: painting, music or football, or not. They may believe the world is made of some gifted people, whom the rest admire from the sidelines. Conversely, kids with a growth mindset appreciate anyone can build themselves into anything they want to be. They recognise [sic] that people aren’t ‘smart’ or ‘dumb’, that there are no talented geniuses; only hard-working people who have chosen to take their abilities to the next level.”

As you can see, clearly it is more useful for a child to work from a growth mindset, with the belief that practice and hard work will allow them to develop. What came to mind for me was the state of music in the mid-70s.* On the one hand, virtuoso rock bands like Emerson, Lake, and Palmer and major-label powerhouses like Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin gave fans the impression that there were two kinds of people: rock stars and everyone else. For fans, no amount of virtuosity, charisma, or sheer woodshedding would bridge the gap between the audience and the demigods onstage.

On the other hand, the punk explosion (and if I may, the much more interesting long tail of post-punk and new wave) exposed the radical principle that anyone could make music. The number of bands whose members admitted they couldn’t play their instruments when they joined bears this out. Not only did it underline the power of confidence combined with practice, but it also engendered a great deal of experimentation, as artists played “incorrectly” either through naivety or by design (or both). This resulted in a lot of great music.

*I’ve been reading a lot of books about music in the mid-70s. If I had been reading about the history of fisheries, then mindset studies would probably remind me of salmon.

Let us encourage a growth mindset in our children by taking it on ourselves. Start by setting aside the cliche of “I can’t draw” or “I can’t cook” or “I can’t sing.” Instead, just start doing it alongside your kids. What you’re doing may not work at first, but as far as they know, this is all just healthy and normal.

Wouldn’t that be nice?